That pregnancy glow

Praise the lord I’m not pregnant anymore! I am not one of those people who enjoys being pregnant. There’s fuck all glow about me. I’m sick, when I’m not actually being sick, i just feel sick! In the early weeks I’m constipated like a mother fucker, resulting in me shoving laxatives up my bum πŸ’ƒπŸ» My hips and back KILL ME, I literally can’t get up when I sit or lay down! So when I was going to have my eyebrows threaded & tinted this time around, it seriously took me about 5 WHOLE minutes to straighten up! The girl who does them is all young & beautiful & must think ‘FUCK THAT SHIT’. I also go through a few weeks of being a miserable mofo in the early weeks, I think it’s the sickness! I turn into a really negative person about everything which is really unlike me! I wee A LOT anyway without being with child BUT when I’m pregnant, I spend about 21hours of the day on the toilet! And that’s just the ‘normal’ shit to be expected.

So factor in having 2 kids, a 1 and 2 year old😩 They require a lot of parenting, so when you feel like shit & they’re shitting like there is no tomorrow, one after the other! Or still having to go out & leave the house when you look & feel like death! Even the task of putting Bear down to sleep in the cot was a struggle when my bump started to get big. He doesn’t have a cot with a side that goes down, so I have to lift him over the side & put him down! Well try doing that when your bump is HUGE & takes me at least 10/15cm away from the side of the cot! I literally ended up putting him over the side & then had to drop him πŸ˜‚ These are the things you have to consider when birthing children so close together!

The tiredness, which hits you during different trimesters! I could be flying high for a few weeks & then POW you feel like you can’t move! Everything becomes an effort, you just want to lay on the sofa and not move. That’s why your first pregnancy is soooo amazing. Even though I had next level morning sickness with Maximus, it was just me. I didn’t have anyone to look after, so if I was tired, I could laze about or have an afternoon nap. When you’ve got other children, you don’t have that luxury! And it’s during those EXHAUSTION peaks that I would really hate my mother. All you want is an afternoon or even an hour to yourself & that’s where mums come in! But in fairness to my younger sister & her significant other, they did come over on a Sunday & walk Maximus & Bear round the park.

DRIBBLING, for some reason when I’m pregnant, I dribble & SOAK my pillow of a night 😎 So I would wake up in the night, laying in saliva πŸ€— And this time around with Winston, I had a few weeks where I had to spit allllllll day. It was like there was too much saliva in my mouth and I just couldn’t swallow it. So I would have to go around with a cup & spit in it. WTF πŸ™„

Also who knew that your boobs could start leaking BEFORE you even have the baby! Huh, I’ve had it with all 3 now. Although it started a lot later with Winston. But I’m pretty sure by about 30weeks my boobs started leaking with both Maximus & Bear! It happened more of a night, so I was literally expelling fluid from every part of my body πŸ’ƒπŸ»

Two of my favourite memories whilst being pregnant this time around, are;

Being sick in the downstairs toilet, it’s a small space! So I’m bent over, with my legs crossed 😎 Because otherwise I would of wee’d myself whilst being being sick as well! Maximus is rammed up against the wall, continuously pressing the flusher whilst I spew my guts up. And Bear is underneath me, looking over the toilet bowl, whilst I’m trying to pull him away by the neck of his t shirt πŸ’ƒπŸ» And sick is going on his head!

And my other all time favourite memory, being about 33 weeks pregnant. It’s HURTING to walk, my back feels like it could snap. The baby feels like it could fall out of my vagina. I’m pushing a buggy, whilst holding the dog lead, Maximus is on his bike. And it’s pissing down with rain 😭 I can honestly remember thinking at that point, NEVER AGAIN.

The negative & losing the will to live, is the biggest thing that cracks me though. I have to actually talk to myself, to get in the shower or bath 😱 Which obvs isn’t normal for me! My usual routine is to get straight in the shower as soon as I get up, if I’m not clean, I don’t feel like I can function during the day! I can tell you brushing my teeth, is something that doesn’t become a daily occurrence πŸ’ƒπŸ» Id brush them & then end up being sick in the sink. So some mornings gave that a knock on the head! Makeup & even looking any way presentable goes out the window! So it’s like a vicious cycle, I feel like shit, look like shit, I don’t get in the shower, so I feel even more like shit. And they pregnancy is a beautiful thing πŸ˜‚Oh and then constantly thinking your bleeding! So you could be going about your day & feel a bit ‘wet’ down below & convince yourself, you’re bleeding, so having a miscarriage! Which if you’ve had a miscarriage {which I have} sends you into overdrive. So I’ll admit now, I’ve shoved my hand down there to see if I comes out with blood on πŸ€— Dr Google … if you searched my internet history it would read … 16 weeks pregnant and can’t wee, 30 weeks pregnant and can’t sleep, 31 week pregnant and legs hurt, 31 week pregnant and back hurts. 32 weeks pregnant, is it safe to take paracetamol, 33 weeks pregnant, can I kill baby by sleeping on my back! 34 weeks pregnant, how much should baby move. 36 weeks pregnant, will having sex DEFINITELY bring on labour. Literally you google every single thing! And then read mumsnet, which for ages I couldn’t even understand half of it with their ‘DH’ & ‘DD’ lark, so I ending having to google what shit means in the end as well! And then being like a dog on heat πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ˜Ž The poor baby daddy because he could be riding the gravy train all week … literally. Then out of nowhere just looking at him would make me heave πŸ˜‚ And just topping it off whilst Maximus & Bear decided to get chicken pox, going on holiday at 33 weeks pregnant. Which is NOT relaxing at all, I came back feeling shattered. It took me over a week to recover from it! And that’s not me exaggerating, I truly felt drained from it. And the highlight being my bladder deciding to stop working & needing a catheter for 10days, just before Christmas!And all of this whilst your life partner doesn’t understand any of it. And in my case doesn’t even try. I can remember bursting into tears by the sink at about 35 weeks pregnant. I don’t even know what over now. But he just looked at me like I was crank! And I just started screaming that I was last knockings pregnant, I have 2 kids that try to ruin my life, I’m tired, I can’t sleep all night because pregnancy insomnia is real! So FUCK OFFFFFFFF. I think he then may of gone In the garden with them for 10minutes after πŸ™„Despite all of this though, it does blow my mind how amazing the FEMALE body is. That we can grow a baby inside of us. And even though I don’t like how I feel for 40 weeks, I know it’s an amazing blessing and all worth it for what comes out of you at the end! So all hail the woman Party People πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ™ŒπŸ» All things bright & beautiful.Alabama Lola πŸ’‹

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